


Hope

by trying_to_spell_both_our_names_at_once



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Inner Dialogue, Really just me rambling about Tommy's character development yesterday, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), while i fear for today
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:55:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28596546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trying_to_spell_both_our_names_at_once/pseuds/trying_to_spell_both_our_names_at_once
Summary: “The discs are worth more than you ever were!”The room goes silent about them, and both Tommy and Tubbo flinch back at the words, anger forgotten within seconds.He didn't mean that. That wasn't true. When did he ever start believing that?...Just a little piece talking about Tommy's character development yesterday
Kudos: 75





	Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Yesterday's stream was a lot lol. Tommy really just speedran his entire character development lol. I wrote this while on a three hour drive but I still like it anyways. I just wanted to do a little piece about Tommy's thought process during the whole thing and why I think he did what he did.

“The discs are worth more than you ever were!”

The room goes silent about them, and both Tommy and Tubbo flinch back at the words, anger forgotten within seconds. 

He didn't mean that. That wasn't true. When did he ever start believing that? 

He thinks of everyone he told himself he would never be. Everyone he hated for some reason or another. Wilbur, Dream, Techno. He promised himself that he would never be as bad as them. 

But he was worse, wasn't he? Cause in the end, all three of them stuck by their principles. Techno wanted the government gone and he did everything to ensure that. Wilbur wanted L’Manburg gone, and he did that. Dream wanted the discs, and here he was doing everything to get them. 

And what about Tommy? Where did he go wrong? When did he stray from what he believed in, what he always believed in?

Ever since the beginning it was Tubbo. Tubbo and his loyalty to all his other friends. Before the discs, before the wars, before the betrayal, it was always them. And Tommy had stuck to that. Tommy loved those he was loyal to and he did everything in order to protect that. To protect his friends, his family. 

And here he was, siding with a man who wanted to tear it down. Why hadn’t he seen it before? How hadn't he noticed that he was becoming the very person he swore to never be? How could something like that slip under his radar?

Techno dealt in revenge. Tommy would never be able to. Because standing here, seeing the pain on Tubbo’s face as he stared at him, Tommy had never hated himself more. Techno told him this would make him feel better, that Tubbo had hurt him and he deserved to be hurt back. 

But Tommy couldn't. He was tired of everyone hurting. Was tired of the constant fighting. He couldn't do this anymore. 

“Give him the disc Tubbo.”

Tubbo was staring at him with wide confused eyes, and Tommy let his mask slip, let his hatred and grief bubble up inside of him. He had hurt everything, ruined everything. He fucked up massively. 

The discs didn't matter. They only mattered because Tommy made them. He poured his love and affection into them, gave them meaning, gave them a purpose. And everything else crumbled. Tommy thought that everything would be fixed once he had them, that everything could go back to how they used to be. But how could everything be fixed if he tore it all down in the process? 

“I've become worse than everybody I ever hated”

Everyone is staring at him. He can feel the weight of their eyes, his legacy glowing in front of him, waiting for him to make a decision. History stared down at him, judging his actions, weighing his choices. Who was he going to be? What side was he going to pick?

“I don’t want to be the villain.” 

He didn't want people to hate him, he couldn't be the one to tear it down knowing that everyone he loved stood inside. Techno didn't have that luxury. Techno didn't know what it was like to love these walls, to have built them yourself and watched your friends and family live their best lives inside of it. This wasn't Techno’s home. But a small part of Tommy would always know this was where his heart belonged. 

“I’m with Tubbo.” 

No more discs. No more anarchy. No more anger. Tommy needed to make up for his mistakes, needed to put aside his anger and his pity in order to do what he should of from the beginning. 

Techno looked genuinely hurt, and Tommy did feel kind of bad. Techno trusted him, clothed him, and gave him a place to recover and grow from what Dream put him through. Tommy was beyond grateful for that, and a part of him did feel kind of bad about this. 

But he couldn't do this anymore. Couldn't be the villain. Couldn't ignore his own conscience and his own ideals anymore. He never wanted to destroy anything. Techno pulled him from the hole Dream put him in, but Tommy needed to pull himself out of this one before he fell harder into a persona and a legacy that he didn’t want. He hopes that one day his brother may forgive him. 

He’s just so tired of having to pick between people he loved. No matter what, he was betraying someone. He was sorry it was Techno, he really was, but what did they want him to do? They were always asking him to choose and he doesn't want to anymore because no matter what he makes someone upset. He chooses Tubbo and Techno is betrayed. He chooses Techno and all of L’Manburg is betrayed. There was no way to win.

He probably should have given back the axe. Too late now. 

Dream and Techno decide to team up, and Tommy would like to pretend he's surprised. Dream had all the discs, and Techno always wanted L’Manburg gone. The two of them were strong opponents. Really strong. Tommy wasn't confident about the odds. He didn't let it show. 

He stood up on those chests and made his case. He knew war, was born and raised and bred in it. He knew violence and war like the back of his hand, and he wasn’t going down without a fight. 

He didn't have his discs anymore. He didn't have Techno. But he had most of L’Manburg. He could work with that. 

He needed hope. He needed something to fight for. And now he had it. For too long he was fighting for himself, selfishly acting out anger and self pity but that ended now. Now he was fighting for hope. Hope for friendship to be rekindled. Hope for L’Mamburg to be standing tomorrow. 

For the first time in months Tommy went to bed hopeful. Tomorrow would be rough. They had the numbers, but Dream and Techno had the power and the drive. Tommy would be expected to lead, and he thinks he might be able to. 

Despite all the stressful things about to happen, he was most fearful for his conversation with Tubbo. Tubbo who stared at him with sad eyes. Who had lost his trust and who Tommy had put through so much. Tubbo who put him through so much, who exiled him and never visited, who clearly doesn’t see Tommy as his equal or as a friend. Could they put this all aside and work together? Would they ever be the duo they used to be? Would Tommy ever get his friend back? Could Tommy atone for his mistakes? Could he forgive Tubbo for his own? 

He guesses he'll figure it out tomorrow. 

For now, he had to focus on sleeping and gathering his supplies. They had a doomsday to prevent. He can only hope he can do it by Tubbo’s side.

**Author's Note:**

> So who here is still really sad about Tommy and Techno splitting up despite knowing that it was inevitable with their opposing goals and loyalties? Cause I know I am. On one hand I know that with Tommy's character he would never actually try to take down L'Manburg and I knew he was most likely going to switch sides, but it still hurt you know? Techno deserves better. Being a Techno and Tommy apologist is hard but I will do it anyways lol. 
> 
> Also, lets not talk about the fact that Tommy underwent major character development today that nicely ties up everything his entire character arc, and from a writers standpoint this would be the best time to completely close off his arc. I don't think it'll happen, but lets also just not think about it lol. Anyways, off to watch today's stream, wish me luck. Hope you are all having a wonderful day!! <3


End file.
